My Daughter

So, you think your baby is cute do you? Everyone says so, right? People stop you in the mall just to say "oh, what a little angel!", right? You just can't imagine a baby cuter than yours, can you?

Well that's because you've never seen my daughter, Lindsay Giselle!

And all those people who tell you how cute your baby is? They've been patronizing you.

Playing the DS

Just to show that my daughter really does indeed love Nintendo, here's a shot of her playing Nintendogs on the DS. Her favorite, however, continues to be the GBA SP.

Daddy's So Proud!

Last week my daughter spotted my GBA SP on the nightstand and pulled it down. She then opened it up all by herself and started pushing buttons. When she brought it over to me I turned it on and let her play with it. She's been crazy about it ever since! I even placed the Gameboy next to her favorite stuffed kitty and had her choose between them, just to see what she'd do. Wouldn't you know it, she went strait for the Gameboy!

I don't think she's seen me play GBA myself more than 2 or 3 times, so how she knew how to hold it so perfectly is beyond me... maybe Ninty love is genetic. But really, have you ever seen a 14-month old baby girl so enthralled in old school Pac Man? Incidentally, her high score is 1,440 which is like once around the board. Perhaps you can do better but can you're 14-month old? Heck, can you're 3-year old beat that?

Summer Smells

I was driving down the highway with my wife the other day when we chanced upon a certain odor about which my wife commented: "Eka, catinga de gambar!" (Ew, skunk stink!). I had to pause a minute, however, before affirming agreement. After a long winter, the smell of skunk immediately reminded me of summer. I couldn't, therefore, indicate that I found the smell particularly disagreeable at all. Which got me thinking; there are quite a few other offensive aromas that I really don't mind. Rotting brine shrimp, for example, is very nostalgic to me. It reminds me of warm summer breezes off the great salt lake. What malodorous emanations do you find less than objectionable?

Trauma Center

Can you repair an aneurysm by injecting "sedative"? Is a risk of "loss of stamina" justification for immediate surgery? Would an epithelial patch made of protein as opposed to silicon reduce the chance of an allergic response? If you know anything about medicine the answers to these questions are resounding "NO"s. But if you're playing Trauma Center: Under the Knife for the Nintendo DS it's all good.

Medical inaccuracies aside, Trauma Center is one of the most fun games I've played in a very, very long time. Give it a try if you're as sick of shooters, racers, and sports games as I am. Hey, any game that let's the nurse get away with screaming at the doctor, "Stop doing things that I didn't suggest!" during an operation is awesome if you ask me!

Hand-Scooped Goodness

Carl's Jr. recently came out with a new line of milkshakes which they proudly taut as "hand-scooped". Just what exactly is that supposed to mean? Are they trying to imply that they are homemade? Are we to understand they are all natural? Are they reminiscent of some non-specific nostalgia? I don't think the term "hand-scooped" conveys any of that. It just means that the ingredients are slopped into a stainless processor by some entity other than a robot. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think it even goes that far. A robot can have a hand, right?

I guess it's just a vague corporate statement meant to make the product more appealing. I can think of at least one or two other things, however, that are hand-scooped yet unappealing.

A Thought About Eating Out

As long as I'm thinking about it, I'd like to take a minute and publish my thoughts about something that really chaps my hide. Literally. Let me explain...

Have you ever had to use the restroom while eating out? I eat out a lot due to the fact that neither I nor my wife can cook. (If my wife is reading this, sorry... But you know it as well as I do!) What makes me mad is that every single restroom in every single restaurant is stocked with the absolute poorest quality toilet paper available to the bulk purchaser.

If you're going to drop $50 bucks for two people to eat at a supposedly upscale restaurant wouldn't you expect that they'd have the consideration to provide at least two-ply T.P. to their clientele? I know for a fact that one stupid piece of lasagna didn't cost $12.99 to prepare. Can't a tiny little miniscule portion of that profit be invested in something that will allow the diner the ability to return to their seat and actually be able to sit down?

Really it's unfair of me to single out restaurants. Every business does this. Have you ever seen one of those dispensers that only allow you to tear one or two squares at a time? How much could an extra few squares of ultra cheap hyper-mega-quadruple-industrial-size roll possibly cost?!!

All of this is just wrong. Wrong I say! Spread the word! Write your representative in congress! Let's all band together and send the message that we will no longer stand idly by and allow this injustice to go unchecked!

Toilet Paper

Can I just take a moment and share my feelings about something very personal to me? I'm talking about toilet paper, of course. After all, what could be more personal than the one item that regularly caresses your anus? I find that a person's social status can often be determined very accurately by the brand of toilet paper that they hang next to their throne. Take my mother, for example. She's does decently. Not the wealthiest woman in the world but she's also not exactly on food stamps either. What kind of T.P. do you find in her privê? Usually a roll of Charmin Ultra. That's a solid toilet tissue, right there. Not the best on the market but you could certainly do worse.

I, on the other hand, have to do with whatever one dollar can get me. That's not much. Has anybody ever heard of a brand called FMV? It stands for For Maximum Value and using it is like wiping your ass with a 3-inch square of USA Today. You have to use a quarter roll of it just to get yourself clean because, for as rough and scratchy as it may be, it's as thin as rice paper. The plus side is that I could flush an entire roll down my toilet and not clog it. Even if I had the money, I don't think my cheap-o toilet could even handle a few squares of Charmin.

My aspiration in life is to someday be able to afford Quilted Northern brand asswipe. Not only is it quilted and triple-layered, but you can get it with lotion. I had the privilege of swabbing the deck with some of that at a wealthy relatives house once. Man was that sweet. It felt like silk only, more absorbent.

I know that what I'm going to say next may seem unbelievable but I actually saw this with my own eyes a few months ago. I had run into a bit of unexpected money and decided to pick up a box of macaroni and cheese over at Albertson's. I realize that it's wasteful of me to throw my money away like that but I feel like I'm really doing well for myself when I go to Albertson's. Sometimes it makes you feel good to rub shoulders with the social elite, you know? Anyway, I saw this man get out of a brand new silver Mercedes and strut into the store. He waltzed his way towards an aisle and paused to look over his shoulder and wink at some foxy chick. He then proceeded to pick up a 24-pack of Kleenex Cottonelle Ultra with Aloe and E, the Triple Roll no less, and prance towards the cash register. The woman at the register shot him a crooked glance to which he responded with a sly nod. The woman then blew out a small breath as if wash her hands of the whole transaction but before she could utter the total to pay, the man handed her his Platinum Mastercard. He actually paid without even glancing at the price! Needless to say, everyone who witness the event stood speechless, jaws to the floor, including myself. Had I thought to bring my camara I'd have snapped a picture, but alas, I have nothing with which to prove my story.

Now I'm as ambitious as the next guy but that's something I know I'll never do. No matter how much I acheive in life I can't imagine ever buying Cottonelle from Albertson's. Who would you have to GUM to get to that point? I'd be happy if I were never able to get anything more than Charmin Regular. Really, much more than that is just being greedy.

My First Post

I am not even going to waste my time trying to think of a theme for my blog. I have too many interests and too many thoughts to limit myself to just one area. Therefore, if I ever decide to actually update this blog with posts, I'll write about whatever comes to mind. That said, the following is a partial list of some of my interests:

1. Polititics. I'm not always up to date but I like to know what's going on.
2. Art. I paint once in a while, poorly.
3. Music. I like old school gangsta rap. I'm sure you got that if you understood my name.
4. Video games. When I have time, which is rare, I'm all about Nintendo.
5. Nursing. I'm a second year nursing student. I finish summer, '06.
6. Firearms. I love target shooting. I don't believe poking holes in paper equals violence.
7. Brazilian culture. I lived in Brazil for a time. I speak Portuguese fluently. My wife is Brazilian and my daughter, half Brazilian.

To be honest I only started this blog so I could post my comments on Infendo.com. However, I love writing and even used to keep up a site on yahoo geocities, which isn't even worth linking to, so maybe I'll use this site after all.

That is, if anyone cares to read a page full of useless shiite.